I have been thinking about this for a while given numerous conversations I had at home, work and with friends. In sharing what I do inside of my three businesses, often times in justifying why they would never do that, people would tell me that I am working too much or my work is not fairly rewarded etc etc.
Also, in talking to many people around me, I can see the resistance when something occurs as work or takes something to accomplish. It’s almost like most people are ready to give up the moment they see that getting to their final destination is not a one time thing but rather a process that can be lengthy and would require something on their part: time, effort, discipline, thinking, making right choices, adjusting etc.
It made me laugh the other day when I was contributing to someone in the area of building coaching business and was cut off by a firm: “yes, that’s great but I want to leverage my time.” I was holding myself back from saying: “LEVERAGE WHAT???? leverage zero clients you now have and zero money that comes your way from coaching those clients and further more, not even thinking of who you need to be and what you need to keep on training yourself in to be able to truly produce results with those clients”…. but I let it go. I realized, some people will read self help books like “The Secret” or “4 hour work week” or alike and then completely misunderstand that no matter what we want to accomplish in life, it will take some effort, some work on our part to get to our goals.
Perhaps what needs to happen is to redefine the word “work” and create a more empowering relationship to it, but I haven’t met any successful people who are sitting back and meditating about their success, waiting for it to come to them, giving up and being plain lazy. In fact, when I interviewed people who were wealthy and have the kind of life I always wanted to have (not just money wise, but generally), the one common factor was that they all had really good work ethics. They were disciplined and they honored their time and their money. They were not wasteful. They were intentional. And lastly, they loved what they do such that it truly didn’t occur as work. But if you look from the outside, as I did, what they did was work.
There… maybe not a post everyone wanted to read. I love being in a world of “possibilities” and truly believe in being a positive thinker and seeing the gold in everything, but there is not one thing I can see that got accomplished that didn’t take both the great intention, focus and discipline, and on another, WORK, effort and continual moving forward.
What is the relationship you have to “work” and “working.” I would love to read what you have to say, so please contribute to me with your thoughts on the subject.
I woke up this morning to see that my client I coached for 7 months now, has gotten engaged. It made me smile and it made me happy. I giggled, because, today is Sunday and our last coaching call was on Monday and that’s when the decision got crystal clear for him.
I looked back at the miracle we created on this path of working together. Back around New Years, I was living in Montreal and my friend (now also a client) was visiting. I remember him hiring me because he was clear that the only area that truly worked in his life was the area of finances (and he was being coached on his finances by my husband). So he hired me (as a performance coach) to specifically deal with other areas of his life that seemed out of balance with how well he was doing in his career.
Over the period of half a year, he was beginning to date, to learn about women, to begin to find out what it is that makes him happy and what it is that he is actually looking for. We went back and dealt with some patterns from the past in relationships that didn’t turn out. And then, there was a space for something new. He began to date. And sure, there were bumps on the road, but we worked through them. It was his willingness to be “coach-able” and his trust in me, and also my continual training in listening and how to provide what people want, that had us have this amazing 100% partnership in him achieving his goals.
Needless to say, prior to this Monday, his engagement was in schedule in his next 6 month milestone. And, as I had him define his relationship goal, it all got unfolded. He was clear already and I, as a coach, had to get out of my way to let him create his miracle. And he did. He decided to propose this weekend as he was already planning a beautiful surprise for his girlfriend. She, of course, said yes.
Why am I saying this? Well, on one hand, I am very proud, as a coach and as a friend. I am very very happy for them. And, I wanted to share this as I know that many people walk around with an illusion that I once had again, that some of us have beautiful relationships because we are lucky or it just happened to be that way. And I am here to say, that isn’t so. IT IS NOT LUCK!!!! It is being willing to want something and do everything you can to have it.
Honoring my friend for being willing to want it and doing everything he needed to do to have this miracle happen in his life.