Later this morning, my son will have a ceremony to complete his Kindergarten and officially become a 1st grader. My emotions are running wild. His year was an adjustment for me and if I was to do it all again (which I will with my younger boy) I will definitely do my best to surrender more often.
Parenting can push our buttons in the most expansive of ways. This year, it has pushed mine. However, it also allowed me to heal and appreciate not just the work my son has done, but the work that I have done when I was his age as well as now as his mom. It helped me heal my inner child and do work to embrace my own past and see things from a different point of view.
Because all of us parents do what we think works, I insisted that my son complete his homework as soon as he came home from school, washed his hands and changed into comfortable clothing. He had to read a book per day for school, and he read at least three. His spelling tests were on Monday, he mispelled a word once the entire year and it was a silly mistake he often makes when he writes B instead of D. We dealt with every issue that came our way with compassion and honest communication with him and his teachers. We were, hands down, among the most involved parents. The result of it is: his scores are all exceeding expectations, and he can easily do second grade reading and math, among other things.
All of this would be in vein if my son didn’t do his part. “You can take a horse to the water, but you can’t make him drink.” This year, I have had my butt kicked so many times to learn this lesson and understand that smart and independent kids will not just obey. They need to understand why something is the way it is and what is expected of them, and they will remember, compare and challenge integrity of things and people because they are inheritely wired to be honest humans.
In some ways, I don’t know why I am crying except, possibly, to release the tension, the intention and attention that has been 100% tuned in to my son’s success without compromising everything else that happens in life. I can appreciate summer break in a whole new way because I think our bodies do need to stop, refresh and reset before they create a new project or see another mountain to climb.
All in all, I am sitting here in the dark of the night and quiet of a household with a husband and 2 boys sound asleep to just allow my emotions to settle, to pour my heart onto these pages and remind myself to appreciate every moment. In our world where things can happen with a push of a button, I think we often forget that things are not built over night, but rather take consistency of time and effort. It feels beyond awesome that I know we gave our all but also see the wonderful result of a job well done.
Thank you to God/Universe for giving me this gift of being a mother, for partnership of my husband and everyone that supports us on this journey, my mom probably the most but also our family, friends, teachers, doctors and even random strangers. Thank you for the beautiiful and kind boys and the opportunity to raise them. Thank you for the opportunity to celebrate our hard work this year and acknowledgement for all the work nobody even sees that we do, but that we relentlessy do every day of the year.